The Gift of a Lifetime

The Gift of a Lifetime

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Like many families, our children struggled to give my wife and me the perfect gift. The truth is, we have everything we need, and we aren’t much into the latest gadgets.  Each year, as the holidays approached, I could see them wanting to express their love through their gifts.  I loved the intent, but I knew I was the one to give my children a gift. 


The Gift of Peace of Mind

Bob Nau, a resident at Deupree House, knew that deciding to move into a retirement community could be one of the greatest gifts you can give your children. By planning ahead, you ensure that your future needs are cared for and save your family from the emotional and logistical burden of making critical decisions during a crisis.  And you ensure that your wishes are known.  After seeing many friends face sudden health crises and their families step in to make decisions, Bob and his wife decided they needed to give their family the gift of a lifetime.

“I knew my wife would need services at some point, but in my case, I have been quite active since I moved in more than ten years ago.”  Bob was blessed multiple times over with five children and good health.  Getting a new tie, another Bengal hat, or other clever item as a gift would have been another thing to add to the collection.  What he and his wife, Joan, needed was a plan. 

“We have always made our own decisions,” shared Bob.  His children had opinions, but candidly, Bob, a retired successful businessman, was quite capable of making his own decisions.  Why should retirement be any different?  Not planning would be irresponsible and would land squarely in his children’s lap, which is unnecessary.   Bob and Joan, with the help of their children, did their due diligence and settled on Deupree House, where they moved into their lovely apartment in 2014.

“Deupree House was the clear choice for them.  The beauty of Deupree is that you can be as involved as you want to be,” shares Terri Nau, the Nau’s daughter. 

The time when between elders and their adult children can be challenging.  Many elders find it insulting when adult children “swoop in” and try to take over, even if intentions are good and come from a place of love and care.  When the older adult does not want or need their children's help, different dynamics come into play. Many elderly individuals fiercely value their independence and prefer to manage their lives without intervening assistance. This continued independence can often lead to pride and accomplishment as they navigate their daily routines and make their own decisions. It's essential for family members to respect these wishes and provide support in a way that empowers rather than encroaches. Communication becomes critical in these instances, ensuring that the elder knows that help is available should they ever desire it.  Additionally, many elderly individuals use community resources, social clubs, and professional services to maintain their autonomy and well-being. By honoring their desire for independence, families can foster a relationship built on mutual respect and understanding, allowing the elderly to age with dignity and self-reliance.

“I was lucky.  My parents chose – which was a great decision that worked for them and was wonderful for me and my siblings.  But they made the decision,” shared Terri. 

“But for your family to support your decision, you have to communicate.  You must share the plan,” expressed Margaret Lamb, fellow resident who moved into Deupree House knowing her husband would likely need healthcare support soon.  Margaret and Bob’s experience demonstrates that beyond children knowing your wishes, there are other benefits to moving to a retirement community early – on your terms.

Benefits of Moving into a Retirement Community Early

  1. Meet New Neighbors: Moving into a retirement community early allows you to build a network of friends and neighbors.  The connections you make can become an extended family, offering companionship and support during both good times and challenging moments.
  1. Enjoy Maintenance-Free Living: One of the significant benefits of retirement communities is the maintenance-free lifestyle they offer.  Imagine not having to worry about yard work, home repairs, or even cooking if you choose.  These communities provide various services that allow you to focus on enjoying life.
  1. Engage in an Active Lifestyle: Retirement communities often offer many activities and amenities to keep you engaged and active.  From fitness classes to social events, you’ll find plenty of opportunities to pursue hobbies and interests.  This active lifestyle is not only enjoyable but also beneficial for your overall well-being.  Margaret enjoyed attending Tai Chi classes led by a fellow resident, Michael Porte, to help alleviate some of the stress of caring for a spouse with care needs. 
  1. Securing Your Future Needs: Planning ahead means you can choose a community that aligns with your needs and preferences.  Bob and his wife chose Deupree House because it provided a caring and professional team that helped with all the details. When Bob’s wife needed additional healthcare services, she was able to stay within the Deupree House campus.  The loving Deupree Cottages staff cared for her, and Bob was able to visit with her daily. After Bob's wife passed away a few years ago, his children didn’t have to worry about “What will happen to Dad?”  They knew he had made a home at Deupree House.  The friends Bob made at Deupree became his extended family, offering him a support system that enriched his life.  “My Dad has made so many great friendships at Deupree.  I know this support has helped him so much,” stated Terri.
  1. Making Life Easier for Your Children: By making this decision yourself, you relieve your children from the emotional stress and potential guilt associated with having to make these decisions for you. You can ensure that your preferences are honored, and your children enjoy the peace of mind that comes with knowing you’re happy and well-cared for. Terri Nau, Bob’s daughter who lives close by, expresses deep gratitude for her parents' choice to transition into a retirement community. "Knowing that my parents opted for a supportive environment made all the difference for my siblings and me. We no longer worried about their safety or changing daily needs, which allowed us to focus on enjoying our time together." She adds, "Before he lived at Deupree, I would have to drive an hour or more just to check on my parents if the power went off, for example.  What a relief to know that he is being taken care of.”

Moving into a retirement community before it becomes necessary allows you to take full advantage of the available resources and opportunities.  By making an early transition, you can actively engage in various social activities, explore new hobbies, and establish meaningful relationships within the community.  This proactive approach ensures that you're physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared for the later stages of life. Becoming part of a retirement community sooner rather than later gives you ample time to acclimate to your new surroundings, making the transition smoother and less stressful.  It also allows you to make decisions about your care and lifestyle, ensuring that your preferences are honored, and your independence is maintained. An early move secures not just a place to live but a community to thrive in.


Related Blog: So Much to Do: There is a wealth of activities each month at Deupree


Supporting Health and Wellness

Research supports the numerous health and wellness benefits of moving into a retirement community before it becomes a necessity.  A study by the American Seniors Housing Association found that seniors who transition to retirement communities report higher levels of physical activity, which is crucial in preventing chronic diseases like heart disease, diabetes, and arthritis.  Additionally, these communities often provide access to fitness programs, nutritious meal options, and wellness clinics that contribute to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.


Related Blog: Living Well: How an independent living community can improve wellness


Social engagement is significantly enhanced in retirement communities.  According to a report by the National Institute on Aging, social interaction has a profound impact on one's mental health, reducing the risk of depression and cognitive decline.  Being part of a vibrant community offers daily opportunities for social activities and support networks, which are essential for emotional well-being.

Furthermore, a Harvard Study on Aging highlights that seniors living in retirement communities tend to have a stronger sense of security and reduced stress levels.  The availability of medical care, emergency support, and maintenance services alleviates concerns related to safety and home upkeep, allowing residents to enjoy a sense of peace and focus on their personal and social interests.  The health and wellness advantages of early relocation to a retirement community are substantial, promoting a holistic approach to aging that encompasses physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Bob and others would tell you that retirement is yet another chapter in your life – a chapter that can be planned and enjoyed just like any other. By making the decision yourself, you’re not only investing in your happiness and well-being, but you’re also giving your children a priceless gift. “I see residents wait too long to move in and can’t enjoy all that a place like Deupree offers.  Deupree is a wonderful place to live, and I am so glad we came.  We were both healthy and could enjoy life and get to know people,” shared Bob.  Terri adds by saying, “My parents chose to come to Deupree House before they needed to come.  That was the gift they gave to all of us.  They made their own decision before a health crisis or situation forced my siblings and me to decide.”  Bob and Joan’s family didn’t have to worry about making the right decision for their parents. 

At Deupree House, we’re here to help you every step of the way.  Our caring and professional team is dedicated to making your transition as smooth and enjoyable as possible.  Give your family the gift of peace of mind and start your next chapter with confidence.

Want to learn more about Deupree House?  Visit our website today to learn how we can help you give your family the gift of a lifetime.

 

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Laura Lamb

Laura Lamb

Laura joined Episcopal Retirement Services in 1994. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in Biology from the University of Cincinnati and received her Master’s degree in Health Administration from Xavier University. Her thesis on Organizational Design in He... Read More >

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