For Episcopal Church Home’s memory care residents, friendships with others living in nearby apartments add joy to their lives, while stimulating their minds in ways that were not happening before they moved in, at least for most.
Debbie Cahill has seen the benefits of moving her mother, Debby Cecil, to Episcopal Church Home’s memory care household. The newfound friendships make her mother’s days far livelier than when she lived at home with her, even though it was a busy household. “Mom needed a routine that my household couldn’t give her with the hustle of a family going in many directions.” The routine that Cahill’s mother now has also allows her to enjoy her favorite pastimes with others.
“Mom benefits from the structure of having meals at routine times and with her friends. When I join her for meals, it is clear that she enjoys the camaraderie of her neighbors.” Cahill’s mom also enjoys the exercise classes offered. In fact, Cahill said her mom often talks about some of the games that they play. “The best part about the activities is the prizes offered to the winners. It is fun to play and win!” shares Debbie with a grin, showing she still has a competitive side.
Living with her daughter’s family, Debbie had little time to play games and socialize with others. “Now, Mom is exposed to a great deal more socialization, and also, she needed more care than I was able to provide,” shared Cahill. She is pleased that her mom, Debby, now enjoys life with friends and that when she needs something, or they want to get together, she knows her mom is close by for frequent visits and outings.
“My mom is happy at Episcopal Church Home,” Cahill said. “The staff members really care about her. I can see it in how they interact with Mom. It is more than what they have to do. They talk to her about her life and her family. They are excited when she is excited. They celebrate her in meaningful ways. And I see the team doing similar things for other residents. It makes me feel good that she is here.”
Family members of other Episcopal Church Home residents also enjoy seeing their loved ones sharing friendships.
Memory care residents live in a secure area because people with dementia sometimes wander off and get lost. Aside from that, Episcopal Church Home’s Health Services Administrator, Jomiya Coleman, says it would be difficult to tell the difference between the secured, homey place that memory-care residents reside in at Episcopal Church Home and those who live independently elsewhere on the premier retirement community, located in Louisville's beautiful Graymoor-Devondale neighborhood.
When Cherie Marshall and her siblings found a memory care neighborhood at Episcopal Church Home, it lifted a heavy weight from their shoulders. After the family became worried about the increasing memory challenges of their mom, Betty McKinley, they decided that Betty needed the support of Episcopal Church Home’s memory care. It’s been a pleasure for Cherie and her sister to visit their mother, who had been lonely at home, enjoy chatting with her new friends at Episcopal Church Home. Even though Betty is introverted, nowadays, when she leaves her apartment, she is surrounded by friends. She can sit in a common area and be comforted by hearing others chatting nearby. “It is comforting for all of us to have friends nearby.”
Social interaction has been a major part of cognitive development from the time we are born. Early relationships and interactions with parents, siblings, friends, and/or teachers taught us how to speak, interpret, and express emotions. As an adult, socialization is just as important in keeping the brain active. Building social networks and participating in social activities are like exercises for one’s brain because they keep the mind active and can improve cognitive function.
Socialization can even help prevent mental decline and lower the risk of dementia. A 2017 study published by researchers at the Cognitive Neurology and Alzheimer’s Disease Center of Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine found that individuals aged 80 years old and above with the mental agility of a 50-year-old all had one factor in common: A close-knit group of friends.
Coleman shares that she has seen the benefits of socialization with the residents at ECH. “It is wonderful to see how residents develop friendships once they move into our community. From time to time, families warn us that a loved one is not very social, only to be surprised that when at ECH, they ‘come out of their shell.’ I have come to understand that living in a community spurs friendships. You don’t have to go out of your way to call or check in with friends like you do when you live in your own home. Your friends are down the hall, and you will see them at the next event or meal.” Just as physical health is important, so is socializing, so people feel happy and are not isolated.
Coleman shared that Episcopal Church Home has been very intentional about placing memory-care residents in households where they will thrive and have mutually beneficial relationships with fellow residents.
Friendships are so important that they have taken center stage. Episcopal Church Home's care is based more on social aspects than a traditional healthcare situation, with some socialization opportunities. Friendship is not a cure for cognitive loss, unfortunately, but the staff at Episcopal Church Home have seen an improvement in residents' quality of life and recall of events. "Having the stimulation of friends seems to help our residents remember the fun they had during an activity, for example. It reminds some of Maya Angelou's famous quote: 'People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'" relays Coleman.
Cahill’s sister, Jackie Amend, is a physical therapist who knew about Episcopal Church Home’s great care. Sisters Debbie and Jackie shared that when she decided that her mom needed a more structured environment than she could provide, the family only toured a few communities. “When I asked my friends about their experience with senior living, one community ranked the highest – Episcopal Church Home. My network shared stories about the caring staff members at ECH. I cannot say enough good about the caring team," shared Amend.
Another key consideration for the daughters was selecting a continuing care retirement community (CCRC.). A CCRC is a one-stop shop for all your senior needs. The design of CCRCs allows seniors to move from independent living (needing little assistance) to personal (needing more help with daily tasks and medical needs). Additionally, there are areas for skilled nursing. “We needed a community that offered multiple levels of care AND an emphasis on memory care for Mom,” shared Amend. “When she needs skilled nursing, she will be familiar with the environment and the team. That gives me a great peace of mind. And it is critical for Mom to feel safe and cared for, not worrying,” said Cahill. Both daughters encourage other families to think about having a continuum of care when selecting memory care since many “free-standing communities” require residents to move if they need nursing care.
Episcopal Retirement Services’ person-centered approach makes a difference in the lives of residents and the team members who care for them. Residents become so close, “They look out for each other, too,” Coleman said. “If there's a concern, or someone's upset, or whatever the case, they help each other, which is nice.
Amend recalls that when her mom lived with her sister, it was exhausting for everyone. “When my mom started having difficulties, we hired someone to come to my sister’s house to help, but it wasn’t a good fit. At ECH, she receives care, and we can be more like daughters again. We can do things again and not try to do everything 24/7.”
Cahill agrees. “With Mom living at ECH, I can just come over and enjoy being her daughter. I don’t have to juggle and worry about the meals, care, and other daily logistics.” Debbie Cahill said. “That's a relief.” And, if her mom wants to get out for a while, she can pick her up and share a meal or family time with her. “Episcopal Church Home provides the care that I wish I could. I can’t say enough about how grateful I am for the care the team at ECH provides her.”
We would love to give you a tour of renovated Memory Care households. For information about the continuum of care at Episcopal Church Home, contact Elizabeth Pace, Director of Community Relations, at (502) 736-8043 or email epace@erslife.org.